Creation Myth by Mathias Svalina

In the beginning there was a great flood that destroyed the cities & then someone started a small fire that set off all the smoke alarms. Everyone died except for the fox, the word & the blender. The blender said to the fox & the word we shall start a new civilization that will not replicate the prejudices & iniquities of the former civilization.

Pretty soon the blender & the fox realized that the word was kind of a jerk. He wore mismatching Converse All-Stars, he had a big collection of collectable fantasy knives & he liked to talk about his knives all the time. They decided to bury him up to his neck in drying cement so that he could continue to talk but would not be able to purchase any more collectible fantasy knives.

Another person I hate is this guy Richard I went to elementary school with. He was super smart & I was sort of a loser & we became friends because no one else would talk to us. I really screwed him over. I hear he’s teaching at Cal Tech now. Haven’t thought about him in years.

**

Creation Myth translated into from Scary, No Scary by Zachary Schomburg

There is a flood

that sweeps away everyone’s belongings.

Then there is a fire

that scorches everyone’s flesh,

chars their hearts.

I discover this on my return home,

years later—the town

still hot and smoldering.

I am suicidal for a long time—

try to drown

myself in the new fiery lake,

but ultimately,

I decide to rebuild.

I clear away some burned skeletons

and begin to build a new house.

It is very difficult to find

healthy wood

and man-power.

There’s me, of course.

And you.

And there’s Dick,

but I’m not sure I like Dick.

Back to Translations: Schomburg and Svalina